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How do you calculate worth? I’m trying to pull together some thoughts as topics about feminism, education, pick-up, post-college inadequacies and other things that may not seem to be alike, but definitely are on a grander picture, arise more in my conversations with friends and as I notice more (re)postings about such topics from friends and in popular journalism.

Because these topics have come up so much, determine self-worth is definitely something I’ve been thinking about a lot. I was definitely a student who excelled in the extrinsically motivated school system of America. I relished the stickers in 1st grade and the As in high school. When I didn’t pull straight As, I didn’t beat myself up–my face was on every letter of the award hall in my high school and I was voted the most likely to be successful in the senior superlatives!

College definitely gave me a run. I think that I was one of those who was slowly beaten from the inside out. I’ve graduated and I have great memories. I know I’ve learned and grown, and even though I really wanted to be done, I recognize that I have so much more to learn. Especially now that I’m considering next “moves in life,” everyone says you have to “know your strengths.” But how do you figure out your strengths and where does the confidence to declare a strength come from? Clarity or ignorance?

So how do you measure the value of a dynamic person? (I guess I still think quite highly of myself since I assume things will change in the future (and I can only hope for better).) In context? Context of what? I think this is where many people struggle. People will try to compare. Compare to other of similar age, of similar race, of similar means. Or perhaps compare not to other people but the individual to herself. How far has she come. But how much further will she go? Should she go?

I don’t think I have any answers yet. I once had the reassurance of stickers, but now I feel that I have to seek within myself, but this is much easier said than done. I don’t think this post is meant to convey much insight, but rather a glimpse of what is mulling in my head.