Time to create things!

Tags

Creating, goals, Producing

Now that the dissertation has been submitted, my main focus is on getting a job (and securing right to work). However, this is also a good time to assess and consider what I’ve done already and what I want to do in the future. This post will focus on one thing that has been fairly constant in my life: creating.

I honestly think, if I weren’t so brainwashed by the current prestige of academia, I would prefer to be a craftsman, especially one that deals with the physical. However, given I went down the route of the “thinkers” and I know I will have a hard time leaving that behind, I must find a way to satiate my desire to create. Now creating means many things to me, but importantly value must be added to something or someone. This idea has been drilled into me, especially having attended technology-positive universities. Ideally in this world we, as people, would create things that do the most good for the world. However, I will generally settle for creating things (physical and non-physical) that help a community, that bring joy to an individual, that make me happy.

So I want to make some goals for the near future to create things, because I feel that I have not been producing many things. Now, I am conscious that there is the inherent possibility that I will simply add to the clutter of things available for consumption, but I figure that at least I will gain new skills in the process (which will be good for my job searching) and I can choose projects that will have value added for me. The primary difficulty now is deciding what to create! My current list of things to produce in the near future includes the following (some will be more conscious than others):

• More writing
  • Within this blog — I know I’ve said this before, but what can I say some goals just need to be revived
    • Better understand London culture, and maybe if I’m ambitious wider UK idiosyncrasies (I do not feel like I know Londoners very well given, I’ve spent over a year in the city), and provide an American millennial perspective on London
    • Write about EdTech, never dying goal
    • Document as I take on my tech learning goals (see below)
  • Physically develop a personal stylized script — the aim would be to learn the basics of calligraphy, but I will probably settle on this goal for good penmanship using pens and markers
• Build a couple of apps using app builders
  • Working on a AR quest using Metaverse right now
  • Maybe I’ll actually try to build out “noteworking” my idea for a note-taking app developed for networking events and continuing professional development
• Learn the basics of Unity3D and maybe Unreal — so that I can honestly say “I’m not scared” of them in job interviews
• Sew electronics — make something from the book, since I have all the materials anyway
• Develop a social media presence
  • Even just being more conscious of sharing things
  • Particularly to develop a bit of an aesthetic eye for cell phone photography — Instagram here I come!
• Photo post-processing
  • Yes, I’m editing my own wedding photos… I think I’ve gotten the basics of blemish removal and playing with hue saturation, but I still need to learn how to sharpen smartly and understand different filters.
• Laser cut one of my wedding photos into a piece of wood while I still have access to a laser printer (at least I hope I still have access to the laser printer at the UCL Institute of Making)
• Yarn crafts
  • Finally finish the knit boot toppers I started earlier this year
  • Continue making octopus soothers for Octopus for a Premie
• Make-up basics — I think I know how to do the basics, but I just need to work on the execution (perhaps upgrade some of my tools, e.g. I’ve slowly realized the difference that quality brushes can make) and the confidence to strut outside with the make-up on, so I can discover my mistakes and improve.
  • Learn how to color correct
  • Better understand my skin — I think I’ve found some suitable foundations and skin care items, but the seasons are changing, so…
  • Learn how to do a slick chignon
• Develop new friendships — one of the most wishy washy things on this list but also one of the most important
• Cook more food, especially Chinese food
• Redevelop physical strength and endurance — probably not traditionally on a list of creating, but I do feel like it is kind of like sculpting?
  • Arms — I want to get back to at least 5 chin-ups, just enough to be cool and definitely achievable, since I definitely could do 10 on the regular in high school
  • Abdomen — minimize pooch; don’t need distinguishable abs though
  • Flexibility — actually get beyond beginners yoga?
  • Endurance — probably pick up something cardio related, personal preference for non-boutique spinning/cycling
  • Coordination — dancing here I come?

Just so I’m not just making a list of things I haven’t done, I wanted to include a small list of things I’ve recently created:

• Make-up
  • I think I have a better understanding of eyebrows. This still needs work, but we all have to start somewhere!
  • I can put on false lashes — seems silly, but I think this is an accomplishment, albeit small.
  • I am pretty decent at doing a French twist now.
  • I now know how to produce a clean French tip manicure/pedicure! It’s all in the clean-up brush! Also, the clean edges of a manicure are so easy to produce with a clean-up brush, so now I can do salon clean edges!
• Photo post-processing
  • I am pretty confident removing blemishes, whitening teeth, and cleaning up stray hairs in GIMP. I think I also understand dodge and burn basics, which is really helpful given the difference in skin tone between Daniel and me — I feel like the difference in our skin makes the camera unhappy.
• Understanding of VR
  • I think I have a decent understanding of the state of consumer VR, but this is definitely something to be developed further.
• Wrote my dissertation! I just have to put this on here, since it’s been the major project of the last few months.

I’m sure there are things I’m forgetting on both lists, but that’s okay. This is just a snapshot of what I’m thinking now. Hopefully, I’ll be reporting back with updates soon!

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Distracted

The events of these past few days (Charlottesville and Trump’s subsequent statements especially) are not the sort of distraction that one wants. It makes my throat tighten, my stomach ache, and my eyes tear. It really has made me question priorities, like

• Why I’m writing about virtual reality, when we can’t get our current reality right?
  • However, this dissertation has immediate impact on my life, and it’s so hard to predict the urgency of different timelines.
• What descriptors one chooses to identify by in these times:
  • Interestingly, there have been multiple debates about diversity in recent days hitting the many spectrums of ways people differentiate themselves, in particular: Google/gender and Charlottesville/race and religion (Judaism). Though I suppose that every spectrum of difference has been highlighted and discussed in the last year in order to define you versus us.
    • I currently think the ethnicity, race, religion issues are more urgent than the gender issues. Within the ethnicity, race, religion issues some issues are more urgent than others, and that’s something that I think people have to realize. Specifically anti-black racism and Islamophobia need to be battled now, things like Asian-American recognition and equality can take a back seat. This isn’t a statement about which issues are more important, just more urgent, and I think urgency is important in establishing priorities. But then again, all these issues also overlap, so…

I don’t have much that is insightful to say, but I just wanted to note that this time in history is a bleak one and I can only hope that there is resolution that celebrates diversity and that we get there with as little violence as possible, though I have a sick feeling that will be difficult.

Relevant Articles

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/11/17/if-you-voted-for-him/

Today I feel…

Tags

sad

sad and defeated.

There isn’t anything in particular I that has happened to me. This is a mixture of personal frustrations as a postgraduate student, sadness about the state of humanity and the world, and the seeming impossibility of dreams for the future.

Being a student again has shown me personal strengths and weaknesses. I am confident I have depth of thought, but I am less articulate than ever. I love learning but not all things. There are many things that I realize I don’t want to do, but the challenge is in determining when the task is just difficult or I’m being lazy and when my lack of desire points to a misstep in my prior choices or a challenge to my current trajectory. Being in a postgraduate program makes me long for vocational training in a craft–if only the lifestyle of a craftsman were guaranteed to be stable and respected, because unfortunately I am prideful. Having time to explore has shown me how much there is to explore–either to extend the knowledge of humanity or to learn for self-enrichment. I would love to be able to learn and explore forever, however, without specific directives or the concern of maintaining the socioeconomic status that affords me this privilege in the first place.

Reading the daily news and popular media makes me wonder if society has always been so fragmented. The terrors some people must live through make me grateful for the stability in my life, and the safety net that I have in my family and friends. However, I wonder what social responsibility means in our world today. With the ability to travel globally and the the rippling effects of consumerism, the individual has potentially more impact on the world than ever before. We are both more informed and less informed than ever. We have more access but less accountability. What people choose to care about seems to be haphazardly decided and their actions (or lack thereof) are equally misinformed. I do not exclude myself from these mistakes. I think we are all guilty and that makes me sad and regretful.

There are so many potential futures. Ordinarily, I’d say I straddle the realms of optimistic dreamer and pragmatic scientist, but recently I’ve become more uncertain about how much faith I can put into other people and myself to bring about the best possible future. I can only hope that these feelings will pass without loosing them as valuable reflections that drive compassionate actions in the future.

Data-driven Parenting

http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/12/16/505852661/advice-from-parents-on-screen-time-and-the-digital-world

It’s interesting that so many of the parents in this conversation are so interested in empirical studies to help them in parenting. There is both so much information online, but so few empirical studies since there are so many ethical issues and complications with studies of children. I suppose this is all just a sign of the the battles of epistemologies that are not often addressed head-on, especially in American society. (Oh, how reading about and trying to understand different epistemologies has plagued me in my postgraduate studies.)

Some things that are missing

I expected some things to be different in London, England than in Chicago or Boston, USA, but here are a few things that I have found to be unexpectedly missing…

1. Apple sauce. Upon further thought this kind of makes sense.
2. 25p coin. Instead there is a 20p coin (not to mention the 2p, £1 (which also means the £1 note doesn’t exist), and £2 coins…and the fact that people actually use 50p coins here). I wonder if this reflects a difference in thinking about numbers.
3. The gaps around the door around a toilet stall. I rather like this.
4. Walk signals. Not completely absent, but it feels like there are a lot fewer here.
5. Target/Walmart equivalent (at least in the city…)

I’ll update this list with more in the future. I think it’s rather interesting. I’ll probably do a list of things that are “additional” as well.

(Some updates 09/12/17)

U.S. Presidential Election Results 2016

Tags

Election, Opinion

I don’t even know where to begin. I didn’t on November 8th and I still don’t really know on November 28th. However, I just wanted to compile of few articles that I think add to the discussion, each with slightly different stances–some that I agree with and some that I don’t. I recognize that many of these opinions are fairly liberal, but I want to have them in a personal archive to reflect some of the surprise and emotion that struck me in the days after the 2016 election.

Some of my thoughts:

1. “Oh my…” I knew it was possible, but still there is a bit of me that stunned.
2. I hope everyone uses this opportunity to understand the “marginalized,” and I mean all who feel marginalized. This has to happen on many fronts all at once. There are perspectives to be validated and challenged.
   1. Along this line, I do think that many of my peers need to think about their own personal privileges and how they can help construct a positive future. This will mean different things for different people, but I do think now is as good a time as any to DO GOOD.
3. I need to reflect on what I think is right and where my thoughts come from. I hope that I can discuss with others in ways that are thought provoking, but not violent. However, I am open to emotional challenges, which I think can be good in light of this election and Brexit, which some have pointed to as post-fact emotion dominated events.
   1. I think discussion will help me to articulate my thoughts and for others to as well. I know that I have been struggling to articulate the many facets of my thoughts.
   2. I hope people can discuss and argue in ways that allow for authenticity without compromising respect or friendship. I think a person is stronger for having friends who are not their exact clones, and a lot of us just have to “get over ourselves.”

Article Archive:

“An American Tragedy”

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/an-american-tragedy-donald-trump?intcid=mod-latest

“What do we tell the children?”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-should-we-tell-the-children_us_5822aa90e4b0334571e0a30b

“What so many people don’t get about the US working class”

https://hbr.org/2016/11/what-so-many-people-dont-get-about-the-u-s-working-class?utm_campaign=HBR&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social

“I’m a costal elite from the midwest the real bubble is rural America”

http://www.rollcall.com/news/opinion/im-a-coastal-elite-from-the-midwest-the-real-bubble-is-rural-america

“This is no time for unity — Trump must be confronted with relentless protest”

http://usuncut.com/politics/no-hillary-clinton-trump-doesnt-deserve-chance/

“White Christians who voted for Trump: Fix. This. Now.”

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/11/10/white-christians-who-voted-for-donald-trump-fix-this-now/

“Aftermath: Sixteen Writers on Trump”

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/11/21/aftermath-sixteen-writers-on-trumps-america#diaz

“Now is the Time to Talk about What We Are Actually Talking About”

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/now-is-the-time-to-talk-about-what-we-are-actually-talking-about

“Smug American Liberalism” (from April 2016!)

http://www.vox.com/2016/4/21/11451378/smug-american-liberalism

“Why Donald Trump’s Victory Terrifies Some of Your Ethnic Minority Friends”

http://www.norvillerogers.com/why-donald-trumps-victory-terrifies-some-of-your-ethnic-minority-friends/

Another go at this blogging thing…

Tags

Education, London

Okay. So here I am again thinking I should blog a bit more. I like jotting down my thoughts–especially as a cathartic release of anxiety, anger, or fear–and I want to work on how I present my thoughts, in writing and in conversation. Eventually I want to update the way this blog is organized, but I think I will start writing and trying to focus myself on producing regular blogs on a few topics. I’m thinking (in no particular order) I’ll start with 1) life transitions because I’m going through another transition in life: moving to London and starting a master’s program in Education and Technology; 2) education: current trends, policies, etc. and my thoughts (since I figure I need to learn more in this space and actually start forming some stances and ideas anyway); 3) stuff I like: so that I have a record of some of the things I find interesting as I try new things (and also revisit old things).

Yay! 🙂

Uncertainty

Tags

anxiety, courage, decisions, fear, Uncertainty

Times of uncertainty are exciting and anxiety-inducing. Thrilling and oh-so confusing.

I haven’t been on this blog in a while. Perhaps it’s because, as I’ve mentioned before, I write most when I am anxious and concerned and these last few years haven’t been as dramatic  (at least not in the ways the ways that make my head spin, because teaching high schoolers is anything but calming). Revisiting this blog brought my attention to one of my favorite quotes:

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. (Meg Cabot, Princess Diaries; Ambrose Redmoon) (I find it hilarious that I attribute this quote to a teen comedy.)

Right now, I am definitely struggling to figure out whether my future decisions are acts of courage and bravery or just stupidity. I supposed they are not mutually exclusive, but I can’t help but think that I’m ignoring one side of my thoughts in favor of the other, and unfortunately I can’t figure out which side is correct. In situations like these, I think it’s impossible to know if “future-me” will reflect on my situation with 20/20 hindsight or whether that hindsight will be the same as what others have had. So what advice is worth taking and what advice is worth ignoring? What is a mistake worth making, if only to have learned from it myself? Do I invest blind faith into something, so that something might end up being fruitful–whatever that something might be?

Song: Lost Boy by Ruth B

The Month of January 2014

Tags

cards, expectations, January 2014, nervous, overwhelmed, responsibility, scared, writing

I’m dreading the month of January 2014. I have been for a few weeks now. Tomorrow is the first day after my “winter vacation,” so it’s back to the work world.

I think there are many feelings that I have that explain my dread. I’m nervous. I’m scared. I’m exasperated. I’m overwhelmed. I’m uncertain. I guess it all comes down to the fact that I have more responsibility than ever and I’m scared that I won’t be able to meet my students’, my manager’s, my mentors’, my superiors’, my parents’, my future employers’, and my own expectations.

This month has more work responsibilities since we’re reaching the heart of the lab work for the science and engineering fair and I have 5 high school teams and 1 middle school team to help. I also have to prepare things for later in the year like the employee’s children day, preparing for the Citizen Schools apprenticeship, preparing for the summer programs, and hiring and training a high school intern.

I also have been feeling the pressure of figuring out what will be next after this fellowship is over. I had debated graduate school for a while. I took the GRE but found myself too uncertain and too unfocused to apply. However, I am proud that I took the time to speak to several people during the month of December about what they do. Many of them have reassured me that there are varied paths to success, but many also have advised me to go back to school (either to learn more in biology, education or to teach in high school). So we’ll have to see. I think at this moment, I hope to be doing education research “in 5 years.” We’ll see how I can get myself there.

I won’t be surprised if I end up writing here more this next month. I tend to write more when I’m upset.

However, so I don’t lose touch with friends (since I think this might become a month that I will hole myself in a little more, especially given the weather), I want to ask myself to write cards to my friends. I did my holiday cards (to the friends that are far–sorry to my friends that are near! You may get a card soon!) and read about the postage increase coming up, but I also read a few nice articles that reminded me what a wonder the post office can be. For less than a dollar they will take your thoughts to whoever you’ve addressed them to! So in the month of January, I’m going to be spending approximately a whopping $20 to hopefully send some of my thoughts to friends around the country! I’ve already bought a box of cards that I think are fun and well suited for this month of uncertainty and change. (I’ve recently bought two boxes of cards published by Chronicle Books. I think they are my new unforeseen fascination in the realm of life’s little things.)

Calculating Worth

Tags

comparison, context, self, value, worth

How do you calculate worth? I’m trying to pull together some thoughts as topics about feminism, education, pick-up, post-college inadequacies and other things that may not seem to be alike, but definitely are on a grander picture, arise more in my conversations with friends and as I notice more (re)postings about such topics from friends and in popular journalism.

Because these topics have come up so much, determine self-worth is definitely something I’ve been thinking about a lot. I was definitely a student who excelled in the extrinsically motivated school system of America. I relished the stickers in 1st grade and the As in high school. When I didn’t pull straight As, I didn’t beat myself up–my face was on every letter of the award hall in my high school and I was voted the most likely to be successful in the senior superlatives!

College definitely gave me a run. I think that I was one of those who was slowly beaten from the inside out. I’ve graduated and I have great memories. I know I’ve learned and grown, and even though I really wanted to be done, I recognize that I have so much more to learn. Especially now that I’m considering next “moves in life,” everyone says you have to “know your strengths.” But how do you figure out your strengths and where does the confidence to declare a strength come from? Clarity or ignorance?

So how do you measure the value of a dynamic person? (I guess I still think quite highly of myself since I assume things will change in the future (and I can only hope for better).) In context? Context of what? I think this is where many people struggle. People will try to compare. Compare to other of similar age, of similar race, of similar means. Or perhaps compare not to other people but the individual to herself. How far has she come. But how much further will she go? Should she go?

I don’t think I have any answers yet. I once had the reassurance of stickers, but now I feel that I have to seek within myself, but this is much easier said than done. I don’t think this post is meant to convey much insight, but rather a glimpse of what is mulling in my head.

http://qz.com/139453/theres-one-key-difference-between-kids-who-excel-at-math-and-those-who-dont/

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/10/masculinity-fails-men/

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/26/education/stuyvesant-high-school-students-describe-rationale-for-cheating.html?pagewanted=all&_moc.semityn.www